Feeling a little better now

I will admit to being frustrated earlier today. Physically frustrated and emotionally frustrated. It is what it is. This is a hard time of year for me. I cannot deny it when it happens. It just does. When you are working on your second sinus infection in less than two months it is frustrating no matter what you do. When you feel awful physically, it wears on you emotionally. The fact that I have been sick or my kids have been sick since the beginning of November is exhausting. It is emotionally exhausting and physically exhausting. I will admit that sometimes it does get the better of me.

I will not apologize for that. It is what happens this time of year. I have come to accept it for what it is. I just have to accept it when I hit the lows and learn to pick up and move on when it happens. I have to find those little glimmers of things that make me feel better and help them shine a little better so that the “winter blues” do not get the best of me. I eventually do get my groove back and kick the “blah” mood I get into and find my “happier” place.

This evening I was there. I found it. I was not sure I would, but I knew what would do it.

I turned to Lance and asked him if he wanted to help me put my Christmas tree up. Now I knew in my mind that he could not help me do it. The tree is 9″ tall and he’s only 4.5″ tall. There is no way he can manage this. The tree weighs almost 70 pounds by itself, but fortunately it is in two sections so you do not have to lift it all at once. Still that is a big chunk of weight to expect a child that size to lift. That did not mean that Lance was not willing. His eyes light up and he said, “really?” You bet kiddo!

He immediately went over to the closet where the tree was hidden and started pulling stuff out of it so he could get to it. He was standing there at the door of the closet scratching his chin. He was not quite sure how he was going to get the tree out of the closet. I think he realized that this was a task much bigger than his little body could handle. This did not mean that he was not going to try.

I reminded him that he was going to have to finish clearing out the corner where the tree went first. It was not a big deal, but it did still have a pile of blankets and pillows in it and those were going to have to be moved. He scrambled to that task. He went out into the garage and fetched the step stool. He knew we would need that. Then he stood there looking in the closet again and asked, “when are we going to get the tree out of the closet?” It was such a sweet little face that looked at me. So excited and full of excitement. I suggested that he ask his brother. He asked Kyle if he wanted to help him set the tree up. Kyle granted him his wish. The two of them worked together as much as possible setting up the tree.

Now like I said, I knew that Lance could not set up the tree by himself. It is just too big. I was delighted to see that he was so excited and willing to try. I was even more excited to see him try and help his brother and them work together as much as possible. That really warmed my heart this evening. It really helped cheer me up and help bring in some of that Spirit of Christmas that I was missing.

My goal for tomorrow is to get the tree entirely lit up. As usual, there are parts of the tree that did not light up. Unfortunately, tonight I had to finish making dinner and get out the door to Scout Roundtable so I could not finish it tonight. I am just not in the fiddly kind of mood to do it right this second before bed. Still with it set up, I can already feel my “bah humbug” mood start to lift. I am happier about it already. If I can get the tree fully lit tomorrow morning and a good chunk of the ornaments on it in the morning, that means I can have the boys put their ornaments on it when they get home from school. This is in reverse order than we normally do it, but we are also a good week behind schedule at this point.

At least I am not in that funk as bad now. I even listened to a few Christmas Carols on the radio on the way home tonight. Not a bunch, but a few. A few things at a time.

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