A little over whelmed now

So my findings about the hidden sources of pork last week kind of threw me for a loop. I am truly grateful that I found this out. I now know what was slowly making me sick in the background without me knowing it. I did not know why I had the stomach pains from time to time and I did not know how to make it any better. I was stuck in that state of silent suffering. Sometimes that silent pain is truly the worst because no one sees it. Honestly it might not be that bad, but it is always there.

In all fairness, I had my good days and my bad days. It was directly proportional, I now know to what I ate and when. Better stated, it was based on my diet every day. How much did I ingest of the very food I knew I could not have? I did not know it at the time but hind sight is always 20/20. As much as it stings, I am grateful for that. It is that little bit that gives me the strength right now to just keep my chin up right now.

I am grateful for the knowledge now, knowing that maybe I was “not ready” for it a few weeks ago or perhaps even a year ago. Maybe I would not have been able to handle it then. While today I want to cry with the news I was handed, I know that I can stay stronger today that I would have a year ago had I been given the news.

This morning I went to the doctor for a sinus infection. It is a bad sinus infection and it came on fast. I feel absolutely terrible. I literally feel like I have been hit across the face diagonally with a crowbar. It is not funny, but that is where the pain is most intense from my lower left jaw up across my nose to my right eyebrow. My entire face hurts from the pain that radiates out from that, but the pain is most intense along that line that is about the size of a good sized crowbar.

My intention today was that I would get my flu shot while I was in the office. I was there. I have done this before even while I had a sinus infection. No big deal. I have no fever and aside from the sinus infection and the start of the ear infection I am not all that sick. Physically I am fine otherwise. I asked about the flu shot, but I made mention about my knowledge about some of them containing “pork” ingredients. I raised my concerns. This was perfectly legitimate for me to do. I did a little research on this topic while I was waiting for the Nurse Practitioner to come into the room.

I was told “no” on a flu shot today. I felt a sense of relief actually. I actually wanted to just find out what brand and lot they had and look up if it was in fact a batch that contained the pork based gelatin ingredients. I just wanted to make sure it did not. The NP, however, told me with that concern and the fact that I was sick like I was it was probably best that I just skip the shot all together for right now and let my body heal before we dive into the vaccination issues. I kind of agree with her. It was not a “no” outright, it was just a “not right now” so to speak.

Looking back to my experience this summer when I received one of the new Tetanus booster shots so that I could attend Cub Scout Day Camp and the research I did in the few minutes waiting for the NP to attend to me, I am a little disheartened. I did respond to the tetanus booster. It was not a horrible response per say, but I did react to it worse than I thought I would. I felt a little under the weather for a couple of weeks and my arm had this knot under the skin where the injection was that was hard, warm, and noticeable upon touching it for a couple of weeks as well. I did not put two and two together then because I did not know that I needed to. However, upon researching today I saw that the tetanus boosters commonly contain pork based gelatin. I would not have thought that.

They do not ask you if you are allergic to pork and yet it is there in those vaccines.

Then today as I was sitting talking to my mother that over whelming feeling came over me. How do I protect myself? I actually can not do that if other people choose to make back choices. I know so many people that blow it off and think that those little stuff noses and little illnesses are “no big deal” but for someone who does have a weakened immune system, they are a big deal. For someone who catches a cold that always turns into a major sinus infection it is a big deal. Today, I ended up taking a few steps back from the lady at the counter at the pharmacy when I heard the name of the prescription she was picking up. She sounded horrible and frankly she looked as horrible as she sounded, but if you need the prescription Tamiflu and you look, sound, and feel that horrible please send someone else to get your prescriptions for you.

For the first time I felt prompted to pick up one of those “medical ID” flyers at the pharmacy today while I was there. I have never felt I needed one until recently even with all of my allergies, but the reality is that I do have allergies that can be life threatening and I should probably be wearing more than one of those. The reality is that I have a child that has a drug allergy and he should be wearing one as well. So I will be looking into those and maybe I will start to wear one or two because I doubt they would all fit on one I have so many.

I just wish that individuals would make better choices when they were sick and not go out and spread the illnesses around.

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